A few nights back, another cat showed up outside of our window. Franny, naturally, went all feral on his a$$. To be honest, I wasn't all that concerned at first. But the prospect of sharing my food bowl with yet another cat made a little piece of me break inside. I puffed all my fur up to try to look as large and imposing as possible. (This is where all that extra girth comes in handy.)
Man, Franny can be nice, but don't piss her off! That Dainty McDainty exterior will let forth a whole flood of obscenities when she reaches her boiling point. Here's what I remember:
"I WILL KICK YOUR A$$!!! YOU HEAR ME? WIPE THAT !#$^#$@ GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! YOU WANNA DANCE? HUH? YOU WANNA DANCE, SALLY TWINKLETOES? HOW ABOUT I DANCE ON YOUR FACE WHEN I'M DONE KICKING YOUR A$$!!!"
You can imagine where it went from there. Eventually, she was jumping up the door in an effort to escape through the window at the top and come through on her threat to this other cat. (I used to be able to jump that high.) She was pretty serious.
We ended up driving the other cat away (at which Franny screamed, "BACK TO THE SQUIRRELS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, BEE-YOTCH!"). Hasn't been back since.
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