Freedom!

Janelle was putting some kind of special tape on the windowsills this morning, which meant she had all of the windows open as she was putting this tape in. She failed to notice that one of the windows was missing a screen entirely. So, since she didn't seem to be stopping me, I stepped outside into the bright, warm air while she was taping away. And at long last, I tasted freedom. But after a few seconds, I realize: freedom tastes pretty scary. There was this giant blue thing flapping in the wind that I swear was trying to eat me, there were dogs barking in the distance, the squirrels were staring at me from their leafy trees, and I swear to you, I heard one of them yell, "Charge!"

So I tried to run back through the window, but I now found that Janelle had closed the window! Franny was on the other side of the window looking quite concerned. Janelle had made her way out at this point, but I didn't notice. I just stood there and clawed at the closed window. Franny put her paws up to the window and I think we had a moment before Janelle scooped me up and carried me back inside.

I have a new respect for all of those squirrels and birds I see out there all the time. Those guys must be tough as nails! Franny told me that she'll be out there the first chance she gets, but I don't think she'll last much longer than me. Outside is scaaaa-ry.

Wow! Another cat!

A few nights back, another cat showed up outside of our window. Franny, naturally, went all feral on his a$$. To be honest, I wasn't all that concerned at first. But the prospect of sharing my food bowl with yet another cat made a little piece of me break inside. I puffed all my fur up to try to look as large and imposing as possible. (This is where all that extra girth comes in handy.)

Man, Franny can be nice, but don't piss her off! That Dainty McDainty exterior will let forth a whole flood of obscenities when she reaches her boiling point. Here's what I remember:

"I WILL KICK YOUR A$$!!! YOU HEAR ME? WIPE THAT !#$^#$@ GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! YOU WANNA DANCE? HUH? YOU WANNA DANCE, SALLY TWINKLETOES? HOW ABOUT I DANCE ON YOUR FACE WHEN I'M DONE KICKING YOUR A$$!!!"

You can imagine where it went from there. Eventually, she was jumping up the door in an effort to escape through the window at the top and come through on her threat to this other cat. (I used to be able to jump that high.) She was pretty serious.

We ended up driving the other cat away (at which Franny screamed, "BACK TO THE SQUIRRELS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, BEE-YOTCH!"). Hasn't been back since.

Wow!

Imagine me, a blogger? Pretty crazy, I know! I bet Franny will laugh her tail off when she finds out! (Franny reminds me every day that I'm not as smart as she is. That's ok. I've got sex appeal! I don't even know what that means.) I'm not even really sure what to write about. I just see Brandon doing it all the time and he seems to have so much fun doing it (he's so smart!). Janelle has one too (she's so smart too!).

Anyway, Brandon just packed me up in this big metal box with windows the other day and took me over to some sort of new world. It's much bigger, and there are more things to look at in the windows while Brandon and Janelle are away. And all of the same things to climb on are over here, so it feels just like home.

Oh my gosh, I have so many toy mice! I just remembered that! They're the best! I've gotta go right now!